~~Today, I'll be stronger. Today, I'll have resilience. And today is where I will build the strong foundation of the fort.

Life's but one opportunity, so give it your best shot and forget those that don't matter and SMILE~~

Reading is BLISS.

Happy! Self satisfied and contented. Went to MV today and had the time of my life sitting in MPH the wholeeeee day enjoying myself indulging in reading which I haven't been doing for centuries. Didn't have the mood to shop honestly. Shopping frenzy really died down. Ahh the bliss of reading. I guess I haven't really read and enjoyed a good book by actually finishing it since secondary school. And this time I finished 1 book in just 3 hours! ~Wweeeeee..... So happy and contented with myself. =) And I really enjoyed the book. Read 'Tuesdays with Morrie', know it has been a hit some time back but didn't have time to get my hands on it.

It's about this young man and his old professor suffering from a disease and they speak to each other about their lives, their families and such. The young man was too busy chasing material items and money that he forgot to keep in contact with his professor whom he shared a very meaningful relationship with back in those days; where his wise ol' professor taught him sociology and valuable life's lessons. Only did he realise how he forgot his professor after finding out that his professor is dying from a Nightline interview. A very meaningful book and towards the end, the old man reached his deathbed; it was a sad yet peaceful ending. Heh. Nice to keep my mind and self preoccupied. x)))

Ahh. The simple pleasures of life. I want to read more good books! Suggestions anyone? =)

Is not feeling happy now... Having such a heavy heart and is missing those times... Is sad that things had to change... Is sad that nothing lasts forever...

Why is it that to grow up and to be an adult one has to think like an adult, which is to think objectively and be realistic no matter how you wish things could be more idealistic? Why does the process of maturing has to be this way? I don't want to grow up. I don't want to be an adult yet. I don't like the fact that being adult requires such a change. I don't like the fact that we always have to be this realistic in life. And neither do I like the fact that we have to always learn how to let go especially that of sweet memories we all once had and cherish.

Will the pain and heaviness fade away by shedding a tear?

Why isn't it lifting this burdening feeling?

While I was packing, indeed I felt a sense of reminiscence of leaving already. When I went to 1st floor, I felt even more sentimental of all the memories I had there. All the memories felt so long ago though it has only been like one and a half years. Took some pictures before leaving.

~~Officially leaving this place. Mixed feelings~~

~~Where we sat a few times and talked~~

~~Remember during the first week there was no water supply and we had to collect water from this shower. Gosh what an experience indeed... haha~~

~~Where Kuhan & I could only soak~~

~~Had a lot of birthday celebrations here and we shot our class profile video here~~

~~Where we used to always talk for hours till the cows came home~~

~~While overlooking Mydin and people passing by~~

One phase of life is over. It's so fast. What would the next phase bring in?


*Miss all the little things you've did that made it more complete. Miss the words you've said, the ear you have lent and the care that you gave. To really let go; it leaves marks on the sand in the heart... And to let go with a heavy heart...All the best in everything that you do.*

Goodnight world.

Oh wait it's 4am in the morning; it should be good morning.

Rise and shine people... =) while I prepare to go to bed.

Going to live a life of a nocturnal after exams.

Those 'were' the days...

Today was the day I was anticipating for every moment while I was still in the midst of exams yet when today came, I was exhilarated for a moment but it just died off in a while. Really, this feeling's weird. I guess some people feel the same way. Some people don't even feel much difference; some feel sheer joy for freedom; while some feel sad as the end is finally here at its doorstep; to some it's just any other day. To me? I don't know. Was super high too soon which, haha means it also died down super fast. And shoot, I haven't even gotten my heels, my accessories and my shawl if possible while my prom is tomorrow. TOMORROW!!! Sheesh. Why do I feel preparation for prom is so cumbersome??? It's like a chore and I don't even enjoy the buying/shopping process. It's just so..... rushing and... tedious.

Actually, after Psycho paper, the feeling finally sank into me. Having really deep thoughts about life in college and how drastically I've changed from last year to this year (comparing last year's posts with this year, whoah I see a whole lot of difference in the ratio of happy posts and sad posts. LLOOLLLL. Had a lot of contented posts last year. This year? omg!), I've come to learn and accept that certain bad events were indeed a blessing in disguise; in a way or another. Really, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. And I believe from what has happened, it has certainly made me a much stronger person in the sense of guarding what's fragile to human; the heart. And learning to accept that you really just can't have the best of everything in this world. Life is unfair in certain ways that you just have got to accept, yet life is fair when you consider it holistically. Maybe it's true that the worst valleys of life you face are the most significant ones that propel you back upwards to the apex.

I've also learnt that being rebellious and closing up on people is very prone to retaliation. Remember free trade and protectionism? When you try to protect yourself, you may bring good as well as harm to yourself in different aspects. Similarly goes with 'free trade'. Moving from 'free trade' to 'protectionism' sure has put me on guard most of the time and probably in some ways that didn't bring good to me. Closed a lot of people out just because I had reasons to. But the aftermath of it has taught me well. I guess both ways or sides of it has shown me enough lessons to learn from. Well, that's how humans defend themselves anyway. By regarding failures as lessons of experiences. Humans live in self denial there's no doubt about that. But that's just how we do it to want to live happily right?

I've also grown to stick to few principles that I am really strong about now. Just to name one, I believe that one should always be honest and open towards another person. If a person has done something wrong, I think it would be appropriate to just tell the person directly (but politely and not in a brusque manner cause you need to take care of another person's feelings also) so at least, he/she will know the issue and try to change it if it is within their means. Rather than just dwelling and getting upset over something which the wrong-doer may not even be aware that he/she is doing something wrong, wouldn't letting him/her know be better just so that action can be taken on it? Rather than complaining or moping or screaming or maybe stabbing at some weird voodoo doll behind the person's back which will not improve the situation; please do let the person know. And things will ease a little bit.

While the other principles I strongly believe in, well, I will write them when I feel like it.

What's more, have been loving my family more than ever and is less rebellious after one of the semesters. Well this is more of a really private issue but all I can say is that I guess I finally grew out of that typical adolescence stage (though the rebellious nature never dies LOL) and starts to feel more responsible towards caring for my family and noticing a lot of minor details that I never thought of when I was a kid. And knowing that family will always be there for you no matter what, it's really always family which matters most to every individual.

What a change one and a half year can bring.

I WILL BE OKAY.

I WILL BE OKAY.

YES YOU WILL BE OKAY. HAVE FAITH.